A different World

   When I learned I was going to become a mother, I was excited. My husband & I started calling people at 2:30 int he morning to spread the news, others, later in the morning. We had a miscarriage at almost 6 wks along & we were crushed. Since I didn't have to have a D&C, the doctor said that once my cycle returned, we could try again. I didn't start again until almost 6 mos later. I was so scared that there was something wrong with me, but after a few months, (almost a yr from the first time we were pregnant), we were expecting again.
   We were happy, scared & I wanted to do everything right. Everything seemed to be going well until I was 27 weeks. I had developed Bell's Palsy & a few days later, at 28 weeks, I was diagnosed with Preeclampsia. I was on bed rest for 4 and a half weeks & ended up having an emergency c/s at 32w2d to a beautiful boy. The doctors were amazed that I was awake for the birth, by blood pressure was 220/160! Our son remained in the the NICU for 5 and a half weeks. All I could think about was what I could do for this tiny baby. He was so helpless in that plastic box. I could go on in detail about those weeks, but here is my point. I wanted to breastfeed. I knew I wanted to before he was born & I was scared as to what was going to happen since he couldn't even eat. I pumped. I ended up having to pump for 4 mos before we could exclusively breastfeed.
   In the months that followed he gained weight easier, seemed happier & we were overjoyed. By late summer, we were able to go outdoors & I always brought some pumped milk with. I didn't have a cover & since he was still having some trouble with latching, the bottle was easier. I would have people ask me,"I thought you were breastfeeding?" I would have to explain that it wasn't formula in the bottle, that it was breast milk & sometimes strangers would say that they wished more breastfeeding mothers would do that! I am not opposed to women who use bottles, but I hated having to clean them. I loved the natural convenience of latching, waiting until he was done & covering up! There was no waste of milk & I didn't have to clean out my pump!
   I was lucky enough to have a husband that was very supportive. He always encouraged my decision to BF & it really was more like our decision. His mother breastfed 6 kids until they were 2yo. One of them until 3yo. I realize that this probably sounds more pro-boob, & I will admit, I kind of am, but I also know that there are just as many women who bottle feed that get judged as breast feeding women do. Here's the thing, we don't know each other's story. Can't we be pro-mom? Remember back at the beginning when I miscarried? What if I found out I had cancer? What if I had breast cancer? Now I can't breastfeed. How do you think that would make me feel if some extremist for BF came at me & I had to defend myself by re-living my story. I understand that cancer is a bit of a jump from a m/c, but it happens.
   I just want people to be more educated in their decisions & we should be a support system for one another.  Next time you see a woman BF'ing, don't judge her, you have no idea what she may have gone threw to have that privilege.